ABOUT ME

2010-11-05T13:45:00.001-07:00

2010-11-05T13:45:00.000-07:00

my companion..

2010-11-05T13:36:00.000-07:00

I travelled far and wide;
Leaving the places and ;
Parts of my heart.
Lonely and alone.
None do accompanied me.
I rested my weeping eyes.
But, the stars followed me;
Miles after miles.
Feminine sense urged me
To open my eyes.
We gazed at each other.
The stars did shine.
We were static.
While the world moved on.
It was a dark moonless night.
No soul for any company.
But the stars did shine.
Shined on me.

TO BE LOST IN YOU...

2010-11-05T13:01:00.000-07:00

The darkness enlightened my path.
I moved on.
My eyes peered in the darkness;
And showed me the way.
The groping hands didn’t find support;
Helped me to move.
I treaded sometimes on roses;
But mostly on thorns.
Cruel visages existed under the veneer of smiles.
I didn’t notice in the dark.
Barefooted, I limped on.
The fairy white gown;
Entangled in the hugging flowers
And pricking thorns.
Sometimes torn.
Sometimes filthy.
Yet I moved on.
The cold heartbreaks
And warm love unnerved me.
Yet I walked on.
I heard the howling
Of feral beasts.
I heard the whisper
Of jealous lips.
I heard the cry
Of faceless babies.
I heard the whining
Of deserted old age.
I heard the sweet nothings
Of enchanted lovers.
I heard and I moved on.
Cut and bruised, I opened my eyes.
The light did shine on me.
The Shams and the Rabab;
Enthralled my existence.
The light questioned;
And my eyes prevaricated.
It tried showing me the path
And I balked.
The stygian gloom had
Inured me too much.
I had strained too hard in the darkness
To face the light.
The Iris blinked hard.
My world had gone into serene silence.
I feel the light in my soul.
Feelings are mine;
Soul is the diamond.
I was penitent.
With misty eyes;
Saw my path enlightened.
Heard the Moonlit Serenade.
I have found myself.
To be lost in thou forever.

ABOUT ME: Te Notebook

2010-09-20T10:49:00.000-07:00

ABOUT ME: Te Notebook

ABOUT ME: my thots...after a long hiatus!!

2010-09-20T10:47:00.000-07:00

ABOUT ME: my thots...after a long hiatus!!

In the bliss of loneliness!!

2010-09-20T09:49:00.000-07:00

Each day I look up to my life and review its panoramic changing dimension.
My mind buzzing with several queries yet not in the stable form to give them words.
I get agitated with the web of queries I am entangled in. I speak not a word. I just move on. Laugh and live and sometimes sulkily reflect. Loneliness is the companion I seek to well out my brewing thoughts. Loneliness doesn’t make me feel alone; rather it gives me the freedom to be Me.
Sometimes some moment you just need to talk to yourself and listen to your inner thoughts which are words of your soul. Each day the life surprises us and in the plethora of noise surrounding us, we forget to hear the whispers of our inner thoughts. We speak million words and hear zillion messages but we forget each day the most important self called “Ouselves”.
I seek loneliness with vengeance; its my most supportive companion and frees me from all the clutter of worldly noise. And in the arms of loneliness I relish the memories of my loved ones.
Loneliness is never lonely when I am talking to myself. I cry with joy and laugh at the behest of some beautiful moments and I feel satisfied. I feel close to the almighty. I thank Him for His blessings and His mercy.
In loneliness, I feel closer to Him and feel as if He is listening to all my supplications. I feel as if I am the blessed child. God do really communicate through our souls and my God really does.
In loneliness, I feel the cluttered canvas of my life becomes clear and there resurfaces my soul with its visage being painted with mélange of beautiful hues of love and care of my loved ones and the mystique halo hue of God shrouding them. There’s something mystic and beautiful about it when I came face to face with myself. When I am just ME. period

Te Notebook

2010-09-16T06:45:00.000-07:00

I watched “The Notebook”…a simple love story caught in the feudal war. A rich girl and a poor guy. But the story is so delicately made…the picturesque backdrop…a sweet love story blossoming into eternal love. The lead characters handsome Noah (Ryan Gosling) and Alle (Rachel McAdams) depicted the very era they represented. Their love caught between richness and poverty…time and tides…circumstances…longings….n finally another man in Alle’s life!!....i know it’s kind of very predictable script….but the way its been made makes the difference….esp. the rowing of the boat by Noah along with is ladylove with the shimmering water and amidst the bevy of swans.
The most moving part was that this whole story is in the narrative form where a very old man narrates to an old lady from a Notebook which is actually a compilation of Noah’s 365 letters to his Alle. The touching climax was when I came to know that the narrator is actually Noah who is narrating to his schizophrenic wife who no longer knows the very person who had waited for her and had borne the pain of separation and who each day tries to remind her of his love…of his identity.

I still say I hate love story’s…. 

Plethora of Thots!!

2010-09-14T11:08:00.000-07:00

Plethora of thoughts

They say Perfection comes with practice. But in life each day is a new challenge with ensemble of trials and tribulations. Each day brings along with it new thoughts, new faith, new loss, new gain, new memories to be captured in the depths of heart. Some days we rejoice, few days we are disheartened but Time passes away with all its happiness to disappear into the dark shrouds of sadness to reappear with the smiling visage of happiness again. The phenomenon caught in the loops of vibrant varied emotions is called Life. And Life is Perfection personified. To quote Baruch Spinoza “Reality is perfection. If circumstances are seen as unfortunate, it is only because of our own in adequate conceptions of reality.

The words seem so simple to understand but really difficult to implement when faced with adverse situations. When we lose something precious, life never seems perfect. When we fail to reach an objective, life seems failure. When we let down our loved ones, life seems imperfect. All seems so paradoxical. Further going by the philosophical perspective of Nihilism that the existence is without any objective, meaning or purpose. Nothing is moral or immoral. It’s only perception. Believing in this, then nothing should have mattered to us. Nothing should have made us feel repulsive or loving towards anyone or anything. Teleology wouldn’t have existed at all.

I feel that nothing is without purpose; nothing happens by mere chance and nothing is contingent. There is certain purpose for all. Few get the divine clue and move towards it; others just lose their faith and divinity and wander in the infinite vastness!

Mellifluous Trust

2010-09-14T10:55:00.000-07:00

The delicate vial
Of glass perfumed with
Sweet love,
Filled itself with Hope, Dignity,
Care and Diligence.
Its sweetness brightened
The heart it touched
And joy multiplied
When it was
Divided and shared.
One day cold and poisonous hands
Of deceit
Caressed it.
Its fangs were burning
Hot with ruthless poison.
It touched the innocent
Perfumed vial; with Lust.
The vial shattered.
It was fragile;
And her name was Trust.
And no strength can again
Mend the broken pieces
Without creating crevasses.
So silent is the voice of the profound shattering.
So deep is the agony
Of the superficial bruises.
So mournful is the rheum
of the tearless eyes.
So pitiful is the expression
Of the blank visage.
Trust- so fragile
In the heart of wavering man.

my thots...after a long hiatus!!

2010-09-06T10:20:00.000-07:00

The hideous and confused hues
Trapped in the abysmal
Canvas of thots.
Painted white n black;
And grey.
The time slides off.
Unheard n untouched.
Life changes
Unpredictable happens.
Life goes on.
Destiny counts.
Horoscopes astrology..
..looking back nothing counts.
They exist in some haze..
..a shrouded hope..
The mind trapped in
The histories of life.
Stoops low, ebbs high..
..flows in the veins.
Something somewhr
Stopped.
But gave way to
New horizons..
Childhood n innocence betrayed..
And shielded away
Behind the visages
Of wisdom.
Maturity is jst a word.
Experiences- a loss of moments
Memories of longings n false desires!
The expectations change.
Like an ever-flowing
Stream, flowing
Amidst pebbles,
Stones n mounds.
Nothing to stop.
Slows down t gain forces;
Bt nvr it stops.
Life so shimmering
N ever changing.
It surprises me!
Many leave.
Few stay…close to the feelings the mortal heart holds..
Memories stick
To the mind.
Yet another day.
Yet a life anew.
Life so unpredictable.
Each moment
Unfolds something new!!!!...

2009-05-28T10:21:00.001-07:00

It’s the unexpectedness factor of life that keeps us binding to it with such uncontrollable zeal. We exist each day…but we Live few moments. Each moment is a story in itself….
Story of success & failure; story of affection & loneliness; story of knowing & departing….yes..Life is fusion of moments in rhythm.
It’s the ordinary existence of ours which finally brings out the extraordinary in us. We live each day with fluctuating passion. Sometimes the gales of happenstance different from our thoughts puts ice on the flames of life...but the little burning embers remain; fuelling the petty existence. Each day rises from the ashes of death like a sphinx.
Life goes on…no doubt.

In the everyday mundane passing days of ours, we stop noticing the things we see each day. It’s only in their absence that we realize their presence. Ironical but so very true.

Life so full of mocking dilemmas.

But whatever good or bad we have….its surely due to the unpredictable life.
Can’t blame life for each bad we get…since all good is coz of it too!!

2009-05-24T07:18:00.000-07:00

I am not a perfect girl..I am pretty clumsy..And at times I hav a Broken Heart..My frnz n I smtymes fight ovr trifle issues…N somedays nthing goes Right..bt wen I thnk abt it n reflct silently ovr lyf..I remember hw truly amazing lyf is!!..

…..the life’s so imperfectly PERFECT…

It gave me each day t live;

It gave me bad moments t appreciate d good ones;

It gave me the heart t exist n live...

It gave me love n offered hate;

Sometimes in d same garb...

Sometimes in hidden smiles...

It gave me wonderful friends;

To fight with

And to realize myself.

I look back...

And stare at moments;

Some sweet n bitter…

But all precious…

Frozen in the crystal of memories!!

Life goes on...

But friends stay.

Heart beats at its own pace…

But moments stay.

Life is truly amazing!!

Life is truly imperfect!!

And maybe..

just maybe

I like being IMPERFECT.

anima animosity...soul & mind.

2009-01-17T20:50:00.000-08:00

The lonesome moon hanging alone
in the abyssmal darkness
of the glorious night..
the sombre heavenly dew
painted the moon
soothing the bereaved stars
dazzlin in its own aura & light.

A grey stretch slowly n silently
criss-crossed the vast sky
the moon with its envoy,
tired of burning all night
tried to shy away
behind the violet clouds.

The visage of the sky
was streaked with
the redness of the bloomin rose
enlightening the dark
and faded glory of night.
the teary dews were present
as pearls on the green:
a parting gift
from the departing night.

The mind lost in its soul.
The soul lost in its mind.

The Aurora at its best....

ABOUT ME

2009-01-17T20:29:00.000-08:00

hiii...this is Shama...i thnk i hv aptly chosen "soliloquoy" as the title coz its basically gonna b me tlkin t myself...n puttin my thots out dere...bdw i dont knw anythng more t write abt myslf as m real poor at undrstnding myslf...me so unpredictable dat i kp myslf confused..funny 'eh..but dat really is the thing!!!